How To Please A Sadist? Characteristics & Solutions


The desire and intention to harm others (verbally or physically) for one’s own amusement are the two characteristics that most clearly define sadism. It is important to identify the cause of the sadistic personality before treatment. Those who suffer from sadism frequently crave control and power. In this article, we will talk about what is a sadist and how to spot and please a sadist.

What Is Sadism

Sadism is a psychological condition in which the act of inflicting pain on others gives the sufferer pleasure. Sadism was connected to a favorable outcome (pleasure) during the aggression.

Because of the sadist’s aggressive behavior, the enjoyment was reliant on the victim’s suffering. The sadist might experience a bad feeling (guilt feeling) after the violent behavior. Most of the time, sadistic behavior backfires and results in great distress after the aggression.

In some way or another, everyone has caused emotional harm to someone. These are mostly:

  • Out of ignorance
  • In the heat of an argument
  • When felt threatened

Sadism, however, is distinct from the earlier behavior. Sadism has a number of key elements, some of which are:

  • Intention to harm
  • Deriving pleasure when inflicting pain on others
  • A lack of regret
  • Failure to take responsibility

Typical traits of a sadistic personality include the following:

  • People’s suffering appeals to them.
  • They take pleasure in harming other people.
  • They find it deeply moving to consider how to hurt others.
  • They believe that hurting other people is acceptable.
  • They have fantasies about torturing people.
  • To keep people in line, they enjoy making fun of others.
  • They may demand that their partners engage in different types of sexual acts, such as bondage, gagging, slapping, pulling hair, and choking.
  • Their bullying may take many different forms.

How To Spot A Sadist

People with sadistic impulses, who belong to a category of sadism that is considered a personality trait rather than a personality disorder, differ greatly from the kind of evil sadists we know from history and popular culture.

Separating an antisocial or sadistic personality disorder from sadistic impulses is crucial.

There are very few cases of antisocial personality disorder. However, the rest of us have irrational urges to be cruel. When someone has been horribly mistreated, even the kindest and most loving person may experience a very strong impulse to hate.

There are several subtypes of sadists, according to Walfish:

  • Explosive sadist

They lose control and seek vengeance for the mistreatment they feel they have been subjected to when they are dissatisfied with their lives, embarrassed, or hopeless. They’re notorious for their unpredictable violence. Tantrums, terrifying attacks on others, particularly family members, and uncontrollable rage are examples of how this manifests.

  • Tyrannical sadist

They are horrifying and vicious because it seems like they take pleasure in terrorizing and abusing others; it makes them happy when they make their victims cower and submit.

  • Enforcing sadist

They typically consist of military sergeants, university deans, prison wardens, police officers, or others in positions of authority who feel it is their duty to control and punish those who break rules, laws, or regulations.

  • Spineless sadist

They typically exhibit cowardly behavior and are extremely insecure. They project their hostile fantasies and strike first in anticipation of actual danger in the hopes that they can stop their opponent and then ask questions.

In order to control their inner emotions and present the exact opposite of how they actually feel, they use aggressive hostility to convey to others that they are not intimidated or afraid.

To attack the very things that exist within themselves that they want to deny, they look for scapegoats to band together against.

  • Everyday sadist

Subclinical sadism as a personality trait is receiving renewed attention, according to Walfish. The infamous “Dark Tetrad” of personality is composed of subclinical psychopathy, narcissism, Machiavellianism, and regular sadism.

Characteristics Of A Sadist

So, now that we have a fairly accurate description of what a sadist is, how can you tell if someone is one? A sadist displays no distinguishing characteristics.

To really understand someone’s true nature, you kind of just have to wait and see until they start to reveal their true selves. However, there are a number of traits that might raise some caution flags.

  • They take pleasure in seeing others suffer. This can involve spreading rumors about someone or publicly humiliating them with the intention of making them wince and giving you the satisfaction of controlling their happiness.
  • They relish doing people harm. They enjoy physically harming others, which is similar to the previous point. Let’s say they are annoyed by someone on the train who is standing too close to them, so they “accidentally” stomp on their foot to make up for it.
  • It’s exciting to consider that other people are suffering. When a fistfight starts, they are the first to get up and defend themselves. They demand blood. Its ferocious energy appeals to them.
  • They believe that hurting other people is acceptable. They see it as a natural progression of life. You are either at the top of the chain or you aren’t; if you’re at the bottom, get ready to be stepped on.
  • In their fantasies, they hurt other people. This might be of a casual or sexual nature.
  • Just because they could, they injured others. Squishing bugs when it’s not necessary can be viewed as sadistic. Bullying, which can occur in a variety of ways, is a more severe form of this.
  • using humiliation to control others. They may raise their voice during a disagreement to get others’ attention, which can put the other person in a humiliating and uncomfortable position.
  • Sexual tendencies. This is a no-brainer. If they demand that you consent to different types of sexual acts like bondage, gagging, slapping, hair pulling, and choking, you get the idea.

How To Please A Sadist

Make Them Believe That Leaving Is Their Choice

These individuals require a sense of control, and if it is taken away from them, they will become hostile. This can be tricky because you might think you’re discouraging them when, in fact, you’re just giving them more reasons to indulge their urges.

Imagine that you decide to stop using deodorant or that you begin chewing loudly to frighten people away. They might use this chance to make fun of you for your habits, subjecting you to abuse once more. They will lose interest and leave on their own if you can get them to stop.

Challenge Their Authority

They are most likely drawn to people who give in easily to their demands. Increase the sass a little and start asserting yourself. They’ll be offended and may decide to look elsewhere.

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