How To Stop Obsessing Over A Lost Friendship? 14 Tips

stop obsessing over a lost friendship

It may have ended because of your decision, or it might have ended because of your ex-friend. The friendship might have been codependent or toxic, or it might have been perfect and healthy. You might have abruptly broken up, or you might have simply started drifting apart. Regardless, it’s a difficult situation.

A friendship, which is a two-person relationship based on mutual respect, love, and support, is becoming more and more crucial to our well-being. While some friendships come and go with no lasting resentment, others are more difficult to leave behind.

You can recover from the loss, and as you push through the pain, you’ll get stronger. You can stop worrying about a broken friendship if you read this article.

Validate Your Feelings

Naturally, the end of a friendship causes a flurry of emotions like confusion, anger, and sadness. After a friendship ends, you need time to process the event before you can move on. Friendship splits can be messy, just like in romantic relationships. Perhaps you’re wondering what went wrong and what you could have done to make things different.

The first step to healing is to sort through your feelings. Don’t forget that it’s acceptable to feel sad about losing a friendship. Even though it may seem silly to be sad about a friend’s passing, grieving is frequently a useful strategy for getting over a difficult breakup.

Don’t Play The Blame Game

It’s simple to place the blame for a failed friendship on others. Perhaps you believe that your ex-friend didn’t explain things to you clearly or wasn’t completely honest with you. Regardless of what happened, refrain from assigning blame.

Consider the situation from the perspective of an impartial third party and consider the potential roles that each party may have played in the breakdown of the friendship. You may feel stuck in a failed relationship and unable to move on if you continue to harbor anger, blame, or resentment.

Take Time For Yourself

Some people search for a new friend as soon as a friendship ends. Although making new friends is good for your well-being, don’t rush the process. Instead, spend a little “me” time getting to know yourself and what you really want in a friend. Prioritizing your own needs over those of others may also be a good idea.

Maybe you’ve put off reaching your objectives, like losing 20 pounds. or working towards being debt free. So that you can later enter a new friendship feeling content and assured, use this time to plan and work toward your objectives.

Give Yourself The Gift Of Forgiveness

Unbelievably, even in situations of extreme stress, forgiveness can protect your health. Ongoing effects of forgiveness on stress levels were demonstrated in one study. Self-forgiveness improves both physical and mental health, according to another study. A step toward healing and moving on is what forgiveness entails.

stop obsessing over a lost friendship

It takes time and is more of a lifestyle choice than a one-time event to forgive. You won’t experience (or heal from) all the emotions associated with your broken friendship at once. You lose the chance for the future, which contributes to some of the pain of losing a friendship.

You might learn in a few months or years that your friend is getting married, expecting a child, or has recently been promoted. It can be extremely painful to watch from the sidelines in relationships where it is expected that these life events be shared. As more pain manifests, it’s crucial to forgive.

Write A Goodbye Letter

Saying your feelings aloud is not always easier than writing them down. A quiet area where you won’t be bothered is where you should sit down. Say everything you wanted to say to your friend in person in a farewell letter.

Describe how you feel about the friendship coming to an end and the issues that occurred along the way that ultimately caused it to end. You don’t need to worry because your friend won’t ever read the letter, so you can be totally honest. After writing everything down, shred or burn the letter. The letter’s disposal is meant to represent the formal ending of the friendship.

Don’t Wait For An Apology

You might believe that you are entitled to an apology if your friendship ended because the other person mistreated you, was dishonest with you, or betrayed you in some other way. While this may be true, don’t wait around for an “I’m sorry,” as it likely won’t come. Waiting for an admission of guilt only prolongs the friendship’s demise, leaving you to wallow in your resentment.

You’ll probably feel worse than you already do if the apology never materializes. Be the stronger person and get over the incident, apology or not.

Find Support Elsewhere

You might experience sadness or even depression after the end of a friendship. Don’t attempt it by yourself. Obtain assistance and comprehension from other people. Speak with family members or other friends who can serve as a reminder of what a true friend entails.

Consult a life coach or therapist for assistance if you don’t have anyone close to you to turn to. These qualified experts have dealt with friendship breakups and can typically assist you in healing and moving on.

Cut All Communication

Keeping a person in your life who is obviously unwilling to be there only makes the pain worse. Make every effort to cut that person out of your life once a friendship has ended. If you run into someone, there’s no need to be obnoxious or disrespectful, but you also don’t have to make an effort to introduce yourself or strike up a conversation.

Keep in mind that keeping the lines of communication open will probably only cause more suffering, particularly if you or your friend decide to react angrily. Eliminate the person from your life by deleting them from your phone and social media accounts.


Participate in strength training, Pilates, or yoga at a new gym. Pick up something new, or take a lap around the block. Overall well-being and mental health are both miraculously improved by physical fitness. It can help prevent the onset of depression and anxiety, and it can reduce already existing depressive symptoms in teens.

Talk To Someone

stop obsessing over a lost friendship

This might be a guardian, parent, school counselor, or even a friend. If your ex-friend attends the same school as you, consider asking a peer from a different friend group for support, such as a camp friend, a friend from a different city, or perhaps a cousin or local child who attends a different school.

You may feel better about the breakup if you realize you have other good friends, even if they don’t live nearby.

Read About Others In Your Situation

You may believe you are the only person lamenting a lost friendship. Think again. Google “friendship breakup” and see what happens: it brings up a long list of helpful articles and advice about how to handle exactly what you’re going through. You may feel more positive about your own situation by reading about others who are in similar circumstances to you.

Try A New Friend Group

Awkwardness may result from your former friend being in your friend group. If this occurs, think about reaching out to different schoolmates or attempting to develop closer relationships with new people. Make sure you’re mentally and physically ready in advance by thinking through the process.

Prepare yourself for any anxiety you might experience if you choose to eat lunch somewhere other than your usual cafeteria table. We’ve seen it happen numerous times, so here are some advice and techniques for successful friend-making.

Examine What Went Wrong In The Friendship

The insensitivity of one friend toward the other frequently causes friendships to break down. Alternately, sometimes the toxicity is shared. In many cases, mental health problems or a poor understanding or awareness of boundaries are the roots of toxic behavior.

Consider seeking outpatient therapy if you believe there may be unresolved issues that contributed to the breakup of your friendship, particularly if this is not the first time a close friendship has ended badly or if you have noticed a pattern in your life or relationships in general.

Reflect On What You’ve Learned

Consider the lost friendship a learning experience rather than seeing it as a negative in your life. Think about what you can change going forward to prevent similar issues in light of the friendship’s breakup and what you have learned from it. Make use of the circumstance to improve yourself and your friendships.

Breakups between friends can be painful and confusing. Luckily, there are approaches to recovering from a failed friendship without bringing the pain and hurt with you. Take the time you need to mourn the breakup of the relationship while also rejoicing in the start of something new.

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